A young man joined the unit from Cwmbran police training centre, he owned a 1000cc motorcycle. After his probation he was posted to me due to lack of manpower. We started out from the police post and were directed to an early morning alarm. So off we went post haste, and as we approached each junction and obstruction the probationer would stamp his foot on the floor as though braking.
I said to him; “Look will you stop doing that you’re making me nervous. I may be going fast but I have no intention of injuring myself, the public or you!”
It took him all of his effort to restrain himself. Afterwards, I found out that the lads had wound him up by telling them how fast a driver I was. I suggested that he imagined he was riding his motorcycle fast and he completely relaxed.
Is this ice fresh?
I was despatched to collect a prisoner from another force up the country with this probationer. When we arrived at the police station the custody sergeant asked us to grab a cup of coffee or something cold from the bar. So I went for a Lemon and lime with ice it being a hot day. The probationer looked directly at the steward and said; “Is this ice fresh?” I almost choked with laughter. The steward was very impolite to this young upstart.
Motorcycle Wheelies
He had a habit from time to time of riding his motorcycle up the side of the station on the back wheel. So the next time we were on duty I said to him, “I hear that the Superintendent wants to se you!”
He was pale, “What about, do you know?”
“Something about the way you ride your motorbike up the side of the nick on one wheel I think!”
He was clearly troubled and his words were unrepeatable. I kept him on tenterhooks for a few hours and finally one of the lads told him that I was pulling his leg. He never said a word. He never rode his motorcycle up the side of the nick on one wheel again either.
What A Sad End
After I moved to another division I heard that he lost his job. He was breathalysed riding his motorcycle going home from duty and he was over the legal alcohol limit, he was invited to resign. A sad end to what could have been a promising career. It happens!
THE FRIENDLY GIANT IN COURT
“See you later me old Cock!”
He was a very large lad and very amiable and forever coming up before the magistrates court for being Drunk and Incapable or none payment of fine or to answer a warrant for failing to appear in court.
But whenever he appeared he had everyone sniggering behind their hands from the Usher to the whoever was on the bench. They could not help but smile at him.
He went to school in the Midlands. After school he had a few jobs but never held on to them and inevitably he would be sacked. He moved down here but never lost his accent.
Drink was his downfall, and like stoker George he didn’t pay for much of his beer because everyone liked him.
But he would appear in court and he would be asked if his name was; and the name would read out.
He would reply, “Yo know it is! Yo sid me here enough times. Weem o’d mates aye we?”
The request to just answer the question please only made matters worse.
He was so personable with them all and replied as though they were sitting in a bar room.
The more pompous the court got and sounded the more absurd it appeared.
No one could keep a straight face.
He would be released on bail to attend at such and such a date.
” Con ya roight it dahn? Ony ah lost the last l bit O parper you gid me!”
The date and time would be restated and a warning that he might be arrested if he failed to attend fell on deaf ears.
“That’s OK right weem all pals here aye we! See Ya Later. Tara!”
It would take a little while before order was resumed among the court staff especially anyone new to the friendly Giant.